Fate T Harlaown and the Case of the Murderous Murder
by Moczo
Summary: When a regional governor falls prey to deadly murder, the TSAB sends in their elite investigator extraordinaire, Fate T. Harlaown, and her prime apprentice, Teana Lanster, to bring the killer to justice. But then they also send a third investigator, thus proving that while they've gotten a LITTLE better since the JS Incident, they still make mistakes.
1. Part the First

_**Author's Note: **_**Hey, all! This story is what I like to call a palette cleanser... something I play with between the big updates to make them less tedious. Beyond that, it has a couple things worth mentioning. **

**First, it is kind of a present for DezoPenguin, who adores mysteries and whom I probably owe a present merely from the fact he writes reviews that are roughly a page long for everything I do. **

**Second, it does feature one of my OC's from _Infinity_, but only one, and by no means do you need to have read that story to understand this. And no, it is not remotely canon to that story, unless I change my mind on that later. It just... exists. **

**Third, I will be a bit worried if you fully understand this no matter what else you've read, unless you've found the Akashic Records and omniscience is at your grasp. **

* * *

_**Fate T. Harlaown and the Case of the Murderous Murder**_

**A Tale of Intrigue, Treachery, Passion, and Scandal**

**Part the First **

Fate Testarossa Harlaown had been an Enforcer long enough to know when a day was going to turn out badly. It was nothing tangible; a vague sense of disaster in the air, a thought that would never quite leave the back of your mind. Just a knowledge that a case was going to be a bad one. Maybe complicated, maybe violent, maybe And that day, sitting alone in the starport in Taris IV's capital city, sipping cold coffee and waiting for her team to arrive, was going to be a bad one.

Trying to cheer herself up, she said that maybe it was the cold coffee. Cheap starport coffee bars never failed to depress her, and this one didn't even have green tea.

"Fate! Fate, over here!" came a familiar voice, and Fate smiled despite herself. She turned to see her long-time partner, Teana Lanster, approaching her through the crowd.

"Tia. I heard you were on this job too," Fate said with a grin. Maybe her bad feeling was nothing but that.

"Well, when a planetary governor gets murdered, they pull out the big guns," Tia said with a shrug. "Even on a small, out of the way world like this one. Since we were both in the region, it's not weird they put us together. I'm more concerned about the newbie."

"Eh?"

"Someone new. Just passed the Enforcer exam on a probationary status, and they wanted us to show them the ropes. Unfortunately, the files I got were corrupted, so I didn't catch their name..."

Fate sighed. "Command needs to put less funding into the cushy chairs, and more into making sure we get our files properly. How are we supposed to find our third member if we don't know who to look f-"

"_TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESS!" _Screamed a voice that was, itself, like the very essence of shouting. Fate's stomach fell.

"Oh. Hello, Susa," Fate said, as a young-looking man with a giant grin and bright blue hair sprinted up to her. There was still a crowd, of course, he just didn't seem to notice them. More than one passing businessman was stepped on. "What are you doing here...?"

"Learning murder investigation from the best of the best!" the young combat program said with a grin.

"Please God, no," Teana said. She and Susanoo had met before. There _was _such a thing as 'Hate at First Sight.'

"It's kind of a formality, I guess. I just passed the exam for investigative missions, and apparently you're required to work a case with a senior operative before you can do it on your own!" Susanoo said cheerfully. "Silly TSAB. I know how to catch murderers. Just use a net!"

Fate tried to hide the wince. "Susa... what inspires you to get into this particular branch of the service, might I ask?"

He blinked, as if he didn't quite understand how she could even ask. "Fun."

"_How _did you pass?!" Teana whimpered. "This duty requires diplomacy with local authorities. Keen analysis of scant evidence. Subtlety. Things you lack so, so, so, so much. How could you have passed the test?!"

"Well, they gave me the exam paper," I said. "And I went down it, and answered 'C' for everything."

The starport seemed to go silent.

"I got the fifth-highest score in the history of the program!" He said proudly.

Fate failed to hide the wince this time. "A multiple choice exam was maybe not the best choice in the world for determining candidacy."

"I thought the same thing, but they gave it right over!" Susanoo said cheerfully.

"I... I studied for _years _for that exam... stayed up nights... alienated friends and neighbors to focus..." Tia muttered, abject despair filling her tone.

"You should have tried going with 'C,' Susa said cheerfully. "So, when do we catch the murderer? Oh, and who was murdered?"

Fate rubbed her temples to fight off the growing headache. It wasn't like Susanoo was _bad, _per se. In fact, most of the time she actually liked having him around. He brought a certain exuberance to social situations, ever since she'd met him during the Infinite Empire case all those years ago, and he had come to remain a friend ever since they had closed that case via a series of unlikely and amazing events, followed by even more events, many of them quite interesting and astonishing, that had enabled things to allow them to continue their socialization.

Sometimes, Fate thought it was odd how fuzzy her memories of that particular case and following events were. Perhaps she was getting old.

The key thing was, Susanoo was a dear friend, and she was certainly glad to have him around. The issue was, he was also _kiiiiiiind _of a moron. Not a _bad _moron, she couldn't stress that enough. But he had all the subtlety of a brick to the face, and this job required subtlety. Running into a warehouse and punching a million drug dealers in the face was almost never the right option, and it was basically the only thing that Susa was qualified for.

"Susanoo, have you considered the possibility that perhaps going into a career that requires long work hours filled with inactivity, study, and almost no action whatsoever is not the best fit for someone of your... particular skill set?" Fate asked delicately.

"You're gonna ruin everything," Teana said, less delicately.

"Well, the way I see it," Susanoo said cheerfully, "you're never too old to learn some new tricks. I have over a thousand years experience in preventing murders from happening. That's easy. You just stand in front of whoever you don't want to die, and if someone tries to murder them, _BAM! _You stop it. But what about if you're not there? I can't stop _everyone _from being murdered, unless you gather up everyone in all of existence in one room so I can stand in front of them all, and you'd need a really big room for that. So I should figure out, I think, how to _find _murderers who murdered people I wasn't in front of. It seems like a useful skill to have."

Fate blinked. "Susa, that was almost like logic."

"I know, right?!" Susanoo said, smiling, against all logic, like a puppy. "I'm proud of myself lately! I have used my thinking-brain for mind-knowledge!"

Teana turned to her mentor, her eyes wide with horror. "Fate. Please tell me you aren't going to seriously... I mean, you've met him, right? The victim is a planetary_ governor. _This is a matter of utmost sensitivity. We can't bring a sledgehammer!"

"I'm more of an axe," Susa said sagely. "A big axe, though."

"Well, we don't have much of a choice, Tia. He's our... assignment," Fate said, stopping herself just short of saying 'burden.' "Besides, we're both veterans. We have handled a dozen cases like this one. Surely he can't make things _that _much worse that we can't handle it together. Right?"

Susa smiled brilliantly, apparently pleased by this decision. "So, who died?"

* * *

"The victim's was Ronaldo Chryslus, aged 53. Governor of Taris IV and its extended colonies," Fate said, her voice in the clipped, precise, neutral tone she'd come to think of Enforcer Mode. The group were all capable of flight at this point, but Fate preferred rental cars for getting around; more subtle, less likely to horrify the locals, and no need to get in touch with air traffic control.

Plus, Fate liked driving. She had the casefiles memorized, as usual, so she could narrate _and _control the transport at the same time. She enjoyed the control.

"He was found approximately 0800 hours yesterday in his office at home. The door was locked, no signs of forced entry; he was found in the morning at his desk when his housekeeping staff unlocked to door to clean inside. Preliminary investigation from local coroner suggests blunt force trauma. No signs of a struggle, which indicates he was either taken by surprise, or the killer was someone he knew."

"Do we have any suspects?" Tia asked.

"Given the smoothness of entry, and the lack of obvious evidence, this was probably a premeditated attack," Fate said. "At the time of death, three members of the governor's family were on the grounds, along with four members of the housekeeping staff and a friend of the family who was staying in the guest wing."

Tia winced. "That's a lot of potential. We'll be at the interviews alone for hours."

"Hope the local investigators have good coffee," Fate agreed with a sad smile.

Susanoo raised a hand, and the girls held their breath.

It had been a mostly quiet ride, largely because Susa had been, against all odds, silent. Rather than his usual enthusiastic shouting, he had actually seemed to be keeping track of what Fate was saying, which was almost unheard of for him. But now he had a question, or worse, a _suggestion._ He wanted to _talk_. This couldn't end well.

"I think," he said, "I know who the killer is."

Well. At least he wasn't suggesting burning the house down with the killer inside to be 'sure they got him'. Yet. Fate tried her best to smile, and said, soothingly, "Susanoo, you do realize we haven't actually done any investigation. At all. We don't even have reliable personnel files on any of the suspects yet, this whole situation has been so hectic."

"Right, right," Susanoo said.

"Good, so—"

"I should have said I know the best way to find the killer!" Susa said, the light of discovery in his eyes. "It's pretty brilliant, actually. We get everyone together in one big room. And we look for the one who seems evil."

The silence came back to the car, but it wasn't a joy this time.

"The one who seems evil," Teana said, apparently just to get the words out of her brain before they caused it to melt.

"Right. He'll probably have some kind of scar, maybe an eyepatch," Susanoo suggested. "Oh, and the name. He'll have a name that seems dramatically evil sounding. Something like Falcone DeSlaughter, or Malevolus Sinistere."

"Fate," Teana said, "as senior officer, I'm going to leave you to deal with this while I hit my head against the window."

"Injuring an officer is against protocol, Tia. Even if that officer is yourself," Fate said. She had to admit, that was better than she'd expected. It was more like taking care of a precocious and not-terribly-bright child than the outright disaster she'd been hoping for. "Susa, we have to do things like talk to all the witnesses, examine the crime scene, and read over the coroner's reports. But I promise that we will consider your idea as... let's call it Plan F."

She was thought that was a fair letter. It seemed pretty likely that she could come up with at _least _an A through E before she needed to resort to hunting for people with black mustaches.

* * *

The butler of the Chryslus estate was named Evan Ferrio, and he did have black hair. He was not, however, in possession of an eyepatch or sinister goatee, and so Susa didn't seem terribly interested in him.

"Mr. Ferrio. I understand that you are the one who found the body and first contacted the authorities, at 0800 yesterday?" Fate asked, putting on her best 'sympathetic authority' voice. She was good at it after all these years; she had to be, considering how quickly she had learned the lesson that even the most traumatized, weeping widow could very well have been the one who put that poison in her husband's morning coffee. Faking convincing sadness was not effortless, but it was not nearly so hard as many thought it to be.

"Um, I already answered so many questions for the local precinct. Is this really...?" the butler began.

Fate held up a hand. "I prefer to get my own findings, before comparing notes with the local authorities. I cleared it all with Inspector Siouxport, don't worry. Just answer my questions as best you can, and we'll see how it all goes from there."

"Very well," the man said, adjusting his tie. His suit, while well-made, was wrinkled, indicating he probably hadn't had opportunity to change clothes in the last day. "As you said, I found the governor slumped over at his desk, around 8 o'clock local time, yesterday morning. I was bringing him his breakfast, which he often liked to eat in his office while he caught up on any events that took place overnight. I at first thought he had merely fallen asleep... the governor kept truly horrific hours, I'm afraid. Something of a workaholic. But upon looking closer I found... I found..."

Fate nodded in mostly-sympathy. "It's okay, Mr. Ferrio. Just take it slowly."

The man took a deep breath. "Yes. Of course. I found that... that his head had been badly bruised, just above the right temple, and a line of blood..." he shuddered. "Needless to say, it was a shock. I fear I could do little but panic for... for far too long. It took me nearly fifteen minutes to get the frame of mind to call for help."

Teana nodded sympathetically, taking a sip from her water and pouring a cup for the butler. Coffee and jittery witnesses didn't mix well, sadly. "Don't worry. If the coroner's report was accurate, his time of death was close to midnight. By the time you found him, it was already far too late."

"And everything you've said matches up with the report we got from the inspector," Fate said in satisfaction, especially pleased that the man had noted and explained the fifteen-minute time gap. It gave her two data points: one, that he had taken longer than he should have to report the crime. Two, that he was aware of this fact and had a passable, if not airtight, alibi for it. These may or may not have been significant facts, but she couldn't do her job properly without as many as she could get her hands on. "Now, before we dismiss you, I was wondering if you could tell us about the others staying at the governor's mansion?"

"Oh, of course. There is, of course, Mrs. Chryslus, the governor's wife. She is his first wife, and they have been together nearly twenty-five years. Met in college, if I recall correctly, though lately the mistress _has _been away more and more often. And the other family members; their only daughter, Scarlet, and her fiance, Darius. Then of course, there was the in-house workers in the staff wing; the chef, Mr. DuClar, two maids, Louise and Collette. And myself, of course."

Fate nodded, ready to go in-depth with questions about each, and conduct a careful, studied investigation in all the skeletons in the closet that all such households had. She hoped it was one of them and not a hired killer; personal crimes were so much simpler than politically motivated ones. Still, she was feeling good about this case for the first time since taking it. "All right, let's start with the family, th-"

"Oh, and Dr. Von Murder in the guest room, of course," The butler finished.

Tia gagged and spit out a mouthful of water. "Von _Murder_?" she squeaked after she had finished choking.

Susa's eyes lit up. "Called it!" he said.

Fate's jaw dropped, and she felt the world slipping away for several long seconds before she finally managed to croak out, "Excuse me?"

"Dr. Heinrich von Murder," the butler said cheerfully. "He is an old friend of the governor's family, and a respected pillar of the community here on Taris IV. Why, as the CEO and lead designer of MurderCorp., he provides countless local jobs in his KillBot factories."

"His _what _factories?!" Tia shrieked.

Fate placed a calming hand on her shoulder, guiding the panicking girl back into her seat soothingly. She took a deep breath, composed herself, and said, with the dignity of a veteran enforcer, "His _what _factories?!"

"KillBot ," Mr. Ferrio said cheerfully, seemingly unaware of the reactions of the enforcers he spoke to. "Only the most widely used and beloved home-security robots on Taris! Why, I daresay that any home that wishes their children to sleep safely contains a KillBot or two."

"... Are you sure you're pronouncing that right?" Fate asked, finally.

"Maybe it means something different in the local language," Tia ventured.

Mr. Ferrio blinked, looking back and forth between the two horrified women and the smiling young man. "It's just a brand name. And a very respected one indeed! Why, Dr. von Murder has been a close friend of the governor for years, and contributed _very _generously to his campaign. He is a _pillar _of the community. Is something wrong with this?"

"You don't know? You _really _don't know?" Tia asked. _"Von Murder? __**Really?!**_"

"You're just angry because I called it. I totally called it," Susanoo said, the aura of smugness radiating off him like a tiny sun of annoying. "My first case, and I already caught the killer. I was clearly _born _for this job."

"Susa," Fate said severely. "We've barely started the investigation, so..."

"Tess. Please. There is a man named _Dr. Heinrich von Murder _in this house. He runs a company called _MurderCorp_. He makes _KillBots_ for a living. It really doesn't get much better than that," Susanoo said. "Clearly he stole away into the manor under a mask of friendship, and when he got here, reprogrammed one of the robots that he himself designed, in order to do his _dark work_."

"Just because... just because a man has an unfortunate name and a somewhat questionable grasp of giving his products a marketable brand name, does not make him a killer. I hope," Fate said, somewhat desperately.

"It probably means something different in the local language!" Tia claimed again, grasping on to any port in a storm. "I bet if this were Midchilda, he'd be Dr. von Butterfly of HappyBunnyCorp., making Fluffbots. See? No way he can be the killer!"

Fate sighed. "No going too far in the opposite direction, Tia. He is still a suspect. As much as I hate to admit that."

"Only a _suspect_?" Susanoo asked incredulously, looking through the case files. "Ah-ha! See, look, the mansion has a security KillBot model. The Murderator 2000, special KillDeath edition with gold plating. That gives Dr. von Murder means, opportunity, and a _highly _suspicious name. If he has an eyepatch, I don't care what you girls say: I'm arresting him."

Teana sighed, looked at her mentor with sad, tired eyes. "He can't be the killer, Fate. He just can't. If he is... I don't know. I just feel like the world loses so much light and joy."

"Shhhhhhh," Fate said gently, the tone of a mother soothing her crying child. "We had to interrogate him anyway, didn't we? It will be okay, I'm sure. Why, he probably has less motive than anyone else in the house."

Teana sniffed, brushing a tear from her eye. "Y-you promise?"

* * *

As it turned out, Dr. Heinrich von Murder did not, in point of fact, have an eyepatch. Though he _did _have glasses, which were at least eye-related.

The man's name did _not _match his appearance, to say the least. For starters, he was clearly at least in his seventies, and judging by his skeletal frame, very possibly had fewer kilos on his body than he had years in his life. His hair was little more than wispy white fuzz lining the sides of his head, and he wore a pair of thick bifocals over foggy gray eyes.

Oh, and he was in a wheelchair.

Teana couldn't have looked more smug if she tried, her smirk nearly leaping off her face to smack Susanoo in the back of the head.

"Dr. von Murder," she practically purred. "Would you be so kind as to tell us where you were between the hours of midnight and two AM, yesterday?"

Dr. von Murder smiled warmly, the image of a loving grandfather. "Well, I'm afraid it's been some time since I could pull an all-nighter like that one, young lady. I was quite snugly asleep, and I believe the electric lock on my room will show I was inside and did not leave until the next morning at breakfast, when I found out about..." his smile faded. "Ah. Poor Ronaldo. I've known him since he was a bright-eyed young man, you know. He was running for the city council at around the same time I made my first million in robotics sales, and well... he was so full of potential, even then. I knew right then, he would rise high, and he did. And now this. So sad..."

Susanoo tilted his head to one side. "So, doc. Let's say you wanted to bludgeon someone to death. Given your physical condition, I'm sure you'd want to program one of your robots to do it?"

"_Susa!_" Fate screeched. "Not proper interrogation form!"

"Oh, it's no problem, miss," Dr. von Murder said warmly. "You see, what with my arthritis, I'm afraid I could never manage to reprogram a KillBot manually. I'm afraid my hands just shake too much to handle the wires, and of course my fingers could never pry the access plate open. I fear I am merely a figurehead to my own company at this point. Age makes nothing of us all, in time..."

Susanoo looked like a kicked puppy. "Are you _sure _you couldn't? Maybe you had one robot reprogram another robot?"

"Oh, I'm afraid my luggage manifest will show I brought no KillBot with me to the manor for my holiday. Worked with the blasted things so long I can't stand to have them around if I can help it," Dr. von Murder said chipperly. "Marvelously useful little buggers, of course, but after awhile I'm afraid you just get tired of them. Would any of you like a hard candy? I believe I have some hard candies."

Teana didn't laugh. Out loud.

Susanoo sighed. "I was so _sure_. His name! And the KillBots!"

"Oh, that's just a brand name. Means something different in the local language, I hear," Dr. von Murder said helpfully.

Teana did laugh. Out loud.

"I don't suppose that any of the maids have last names like... Malicia, or something?" Susanoo asked hopefully. "Because otherwise, I got nothin'."

Fate smiled warmly at the kindly old man, and said, "Thank you, doctor. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience."

"Oh, no need to apologize," the old man said with a grandfatherly smile of good cheer. "I know you fine young ladies and gentleman need to examine all the details of the case. I fear I was sound asleep at the time of the murder, but any _other _questions I can answer, well, I would be more than happy to."

"So, tell me, Dr. von Murder," Teana said, "What with your name that is totally normal around here, and your physical inability to be the killer. Would you say that any of the other normally named people in the mansion might have had some reason to kill the governor? Because you couldn't have? At all?"

"Teana, please stop lowering yourself to the level of the other small child on the team?" Fate asked. "Doctor, while my colleague's tone is quite silly, her question is shockingly, valid. As the governor's close friend, can you think of any reason someone might want to harm him?"

The doctor sighed. "Well, my friends, I fear that as with any man of power, my old friend had many enemies. Many of them in this very house. Rumors that his marriage was troubled abound, I fear. And he may have taken this frustration out on the remainder of his family, for it was well-known he did not approve of his daughter's marriage; he and her fiance, Darius, have come just short of exchanging blows in public in their mutual disdain for each other. Only the fact they both genuinely love Scarlet have kept them from all-out war. And of course, the household staff cannot be trusted... more than one political assassin has worked out that the best way to approach a man under security is through his chef or maid. Particularly that _butler_."

"Mr. Ferrio?" Tia asked, her tone indicating discomfort with the idea (likely because she recognized that 'the butler did it' was only _slightly _less pitiful than 'clearly it was the man with the highly suspicious name').

Dr. von Murder sighed. "Well... there's no proof. And I cannot say that I have ever personally seen any indication that he is anything less than a loyal employee. But there have been... rumors about him, for many years. Talk of shady dealings. Past acquaintances that were not, perhaps, entirely savory. I cannot confirm anything specifically, but... I suggest you look into the story of the governor's former great rival, during the early days of his career, and for any connection he might have to Mr. Ferrio, should one actually exist. His name was... Joseph Treachario."

Teana's fragile good mood shattered like glass.

Susa lit up. "_Called it!_"

Fate rubbed her temples to fight off the growing migraine. "So, this is going to be one of those cases I can't tell people about, then."

* * *

"Okay, new theory," Susanoo said to Teana as Fate dug into the local police database and tried desperately to tune them out. "Mr. Ferrio is actually the long-lost son of Joseph Treachario, who was known for, of course, _treachery_. He passed on his love of _treachery _to his son, whom he probably had with a young lady who wore a lot of leather and had a cobra tattoo. Her name may have been Evillia, mistress of darkness."

"Fate, can I shoot him?" Teana asked.

"Then, after being raised in the traditions of evil treachery, Mr. Ferrio took on this job as a butler, preparing... _sinisterly_... to strike down his father's old foe. It is the perfect evil plot! And my unraveling of it is, of course, brilliant, if I do say so myself."

"It's childish goofiness cribbed from a bad spy serial for teenagers," Teana said flatly.

"It... isn't impossible," Fate said. "Per planetary records, Joseph Treachario actually _did _exist. He passed away of an apparent narcotic overdose around ten years ago, but during his life he was fairly well-renowned for his romantic liaisons. The scandal is what sunk his political career... helped, of course, by agents of governor Chryslus's campaigns bringing the extent of them to light, most particularly his fondness for very illegal brothels. He could well have had a son Mr. Ferrio's age."

"Caaaaaaaaalled iiiiiiiiiiiit!" Susanoo crowed, as Teana went over to engage in her new favored stress-relief technique: smacking her head into a wall.

* * *

**Author's Note :****As always, check my profile for additional works, both fanfiction and published. Hope you enjoy! And if those of you who have the ability would be willing to, sharing the links to my publishing on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and the like would be a tremendous help, even if you don't buy a thing. Thank you!**


	2. Part the Second

_**Fate T. Harlaown and the Case of the Murderous Murder**_

**A Tale of Intrigue, Treachery, and DOOM**

**Part the Second**

**(*)**

Fate sighed and waved her hand, closing the holographic screen of the data terminal. "So, now that Teana is done hitting her head on things..."

"For the moment," Tia muttered.

"... we need to consider how best to pursue the case from here," Fate finished, choosing to ignore her partner's attempts to be unhelpful. "First, we do need to complete our interrogation of the family and staff. Second, we need someone to look into the possibility of the Treachario connection..."

"Can we please call it something else?" Teana begged.

"Oh, oh! Like, 'The Treachery Mandate'!" Susanoo suggested. "Or, 'the Doom Imperative'!"

"... Doom Imperative?" Fate asked, more out of morbid fascination than anything else.

"It just sounded good to me."

"... Sure. Well, in any event, it's a possible source of motive, however unlikely, and we really do need to look into it. And we need to conduct our crime scene analysis and compare it to the local authorities, _and _we need to finish the interviews of the suspects in the manor during the crime," Fate finished. "I recommend we divide things up."

"Oh! Oh oh oh!" Susa said, raising his hand, apparently still under the impression that investigating a murder and going to school were the same thing. "I can do that last thing. I'm a people person. And? We should probably also tell the local police about what we found about Dr. Von Murder."

"... You mean that he's got one of the more airtight alibis of anyone in the house?" Teana asked.

"Eh? No, that they should just go ahead they preemptively arrest him. He's probably guilty of _something," _Susa said. "Didn't you hear his name? Maybe he's too old now, but I bet if we go like, dig up his backyard? BOOM! Skeleton city."

"... Right then! Teana, please examine the scene of the murder," Fate said with a tad too much enthusiasm. "I will handle the witness interviews. Susanoo, please dig through city records for any hints he might actually be related to the late Mr. Treachario. All the needed records should be freely available from this terminal, let me know if for some reason you can't access the needed databases."

Susanoo pouted. "How come I have to do the research? That sounds tedious."

"Because as the most junior officer, I'm afraid you get stuck with the simplest and often most boring duty," Fate said cheerfully. "This is a long-standing tradition of the investigation/enforcement corps., and I see no reason to change it now."

"... … I liked you better when you were a kid and afraid to talk to me," Susanoo muttered.

* * *

Leaving Susanoo in front of a computer where he probably couldn't hurt himself or others, Teana and Fate headed through back through the governor's mansion. As they prepared to split up, Fate to the hall they were using for interviews, and Teana to the scene of the crime, they stopped to talk one last time.

"Fate," Teana said softly, "Do you think this will stop it?"

"Eh? What do you..."

"Do you think that leaving him behind to crunch data will stop it?" Teana asked. "Stop the _names_."

"... Huh?"

"We've both been doing this for years, Fate. You and I both know that isn't how murder works. There aren't conveniently located mad scientists named 'von Murder' on the estate, or long-lost sons of old rivals named 'Treachario'. The local towns are not overrun with KillBots... and I don't know what the local language is, but I know what KillBot means when I hear it, dammit all. It's him, don't you see? He's _making _it like this," Teana said. "Through sheer force of stupid, he's making the case go the way he thinks it should be. Reality is warping, and slowly but surely conforming to his twisted, kindergarten-level view of how crime actually works. It's only a matter of time before we start seeing femme fatales trying to seduce us, and strange figures in black masks carrying bloody knives skittering around the edge of our vision when we turn around. And that is _not _the job I signed up for, Fate. If I wanted to live in a bad movie, I would have become an actress."

Fate sighed, and laid a hand on her partner and apprentice's shoulder. "Look. I know that maybe the circumstances are not quite what we're used to. Things have gone a bit wonky so far. But someone _did _still die. And no matter how confused or annoyed we might get, it's still our duty to figure out who killed him, no matter what. So just keep peeling away the layers. There has to be a normal murder somewhere under there."

Teana took a deep breath. "I... I can try. But... but Fate?"

"Yes?"

"What if it really _was _Dr. von Murder?"

Fate considered this.

"I'll pay for the post-mission alcohol we need to forget it."

* * *

Tia entered the governor's office, and slipped on a pair of thin rubber gloves with expert ease. "Okay, Cross Mirage. Began a standard sensor sweep, look for any signs of forced entry, particularly signs the physical locks on the windows were picked or the electronic locks hacked, any sign the alarm system was disabled during the night of the murder. Run an environment scan for any trace of toxin residue or weapons fire, anything the naked eye might have missed. Also, tap into the door control and determine who has opened it, and when, between now and... let's say two hours before the estimated time of death. Log all findings for me to look over after I conduct the physical sweep," she said, taking comfort from the clinical tone of the command, one she had given many times in the past.

"**Yes, ma'am.**" her device said obediently, the built-in sensory equipment humming slightly as it began to work.

She had read the case file, of course, and she knew the local authorities had run all these test and more. In her mind, it was a poor investigator who relied on the eyes of others without ever looking with her own. And so, while the scan was running, she ran her own analysis the old fashioned way.

Unfortunately, it was largely useless. Looking at the windows, she found each one locked from the inside, with no obvious way to pick them from outside the office and obviously no sign any had been broken. Stepping outside onto a Floating Step showed no scratches on the outer wall to indicate a ladder had been used or a window had been forced. The door had likewise clearly not been forced by physical means; she would need to wait for Cross Mirage's scan to complete before she could be certain it wasn't hacked, but locals hadn't found any evidence of such.

Going to the actual scene of the murder, she likewise found no indication that the governor's body had been moved. The carpeting was of course going to be upset by inspectors moving through the room, but more tellingly she found almost no blood in the room, and all of it in a small, dried pool on the governor's desk, cordoned off with a warning beacon to prevent tampering, just as the report had suggested.

All told, after spending the better part of an hour hunting through the place while her device studied every molecule of the room, all she found that _didn't _match the report they had gotten prior to arriving was a single local nut (salted), matching the kind found in the snack bowl on the victim's desk, lodged underneath a cupboard near the door. This struck her as _probably _not linked to the killing, though she still made a note of it.

Tia was a thorough girl.

Still, she stood up, stretched her back out a bit, and took off her gloves, sealing them up in a plastic baggie for disposal. "All right, you've had plenty of time. Give me the results."

"**Yes, ma'am**_**," **_her device said. **"Atmosphere scan suggests no anomalies. No signs of deployment of bacterial, viral, or toxic weapons. No signs of forced entry or computer intrusion to any home security systems. Household alarms report no malfunction." **

Teana winced. "So it really is a locked-room mystery? I _hate _those. Okay... then at least give me the list of people who came in and out in the time frame I asked, if you can, if you can?"

"**First entry in requested timeframe: 1800 hours, two days prior, household Security ID Card 0001, Governor Ronaldo Chryslus. 2350 hours, Governor Chryslus. Yesterday's Entries: 0150 hours, Governor Chryslus. 0802 hours, Household Security ID Card 0004, Evan Ferrio." **

Teana blinked. "Wait, what? The governor's card was used to enter this room _three _times during the night of the murder... one of them just ten minutes before estimated time of death, and one of them almost two hours _after _he died?! Cross Mirage, could someone have made a copy of the governor's ID card, or fooled the system somehow?"

"**Further analysis required. Theoretically possible." **

Teana smiled. "_Finally_. A piece of real, solid evidence. Let's go check on Fate, Cross Mirage. Anything else?"

"**One non-card entry made by automaton under control of household security, at 0000 hours." **

Teana's joy vanished, her blood going cold. That was basically exactly at the most likely time of death. And she had a very, very bad feeling about which automaton it might have been, given her luck...

"Elaborate, please?" she asked, dreading the answer.

"**Entry to room requested and granted by household security KillBot model Murderator 2000, special KillDeath edition with gold plating." **

"... … … _Son of a—" _

* * *

"Oooooh, research is dumb and I hate it, and this is the 'I Hate Research' sooooooong!" Susanoo sang as he scrolled down the long, long, _long _list of Joseph Treachario's assorted scandals.

Women claiming to have had long-term affairs with the man numbered over a dozen, and they _paled _in comparison to the frankly ludicrous amounts of money that he had spent, both his own and 'borrowed' from campaign coffers, frequenting a variety of prostitutes in a stunning variety of settings. _Ammy would think this guy was a lot of fun_, he thought cheerfully of his demonic whorebag of a sister. He was the sort of person who could be bored and happy at the same time. It was all a matter of turning your boredom inside-out and staring at it until it went away.

At least, it made sense to him.

The fact remained, though, that the one thing that nobody had ever caught him at, despite all of the many, many, _many _affairs, was having an illegitimate child. Mrs. Treachario, or at this point the ex-Mrs. Treachario, was apparently completely barren (More likely she just wasn't seeing Mr. Treachario in her bed very often, which was more likely but much meaner to her, so Susa didn't say it out loud), and while a few of the young politician's liaison partners had come forth with _claims _that the former-governor had fathered a bastard child on them, DNA tests had proven each one a fraud.

"Come _on, _you jerk," he muttered, letting the smug smile of the man in all the campaign photos in the file drive him on to new heights of Justice Rage. "It just doesn't make a very good story if it's your evil nephew coming back for treacherous revenge. It _has _to be your kid. I don't care if it's a son, a daughter, or a son _cleverly _pretending to be a daughter by utilizing his naturally slender frame and girlish features, but you _have _to have a kid in here somewhere."

"**You're an idiot,**" his device, Raijin, said helpfully.

"You know, I bet real investigators have devices that _help them_," he muttered. "But no, I have to sift all this data by myself because you suck at everything but hitting stuff."

"**Jerk!" **

"Bitch," he replied fondly, still looking through old photos and starting to wonder if he would have to throw something out a window to fight off this particular bout of boredom. All the mystery books he'd read told him that he really ought to have found a crucial piece of evidence by now, but all he was seeing was a lot of reports on a lot of childless women, and a lot of photos of ex-governor Treachario waving at crowds, back before everyone had found out he was a big whore and voted Chryslus into office over h-

"Wait. Wait, wait, wait," he said, his eyes lighting up. "Scroll back up a page. Something about that last rally photo, just before the scandals broke..."

At first glance, it was nothing special. Newsfeed still photo, taken by a reporter after one of the last campaign speeches Governor Manslut had ever gotten to make. It all looked pretty normal... Treachario, treacherous as ever, walking to his car with that seemingly eternal smug smirk on his face, police on either side of him as he waved to his adoring voters.

Well, _most _of his adoring voters. In the back, almost invisible past the crowds...

"Um, crime computer? Can you please zoom in on this image? In sector... ummm... the one I'm pointing at," he said, poking his finger at the piece he needed a closer image of on the holographic screen. "As much zoom as you can get without degrading the quality too much."

Crime computer, being a useful sort of computer, obliged, and Susanoo smiled in triumph. Just barely visible through the crowd, a young woman with long, dark hair could be seen, a desperate, hopeless expression on her face as she was dragged away by two uniformed officers.

And, while he couldn't see the child's face or body through the wall of people, he could make out a small hand clamped onto the woman's for dear life as the police dragged her away. Desperately clinging to mommy.

Susanoo was not (despite the claims of Fate and Teana) stupid, exactly. His mind was like a missile; very powerful, but once it locked on to a target, pretty much impossible to steer or stop without a big explosion (generally one applied directly to his forehead). Other people might have stopped to think that this one, low-quality photograph, did not actually _prove _anything. That this woman with this child might have been being removed from the premises for any number of reasons.

Susanoo, however, had already decided he was totally correct about his theory, and had further decided that anyone who thought he might be wrong was just jealous. As a result, when he _should _have been saying something like, 'Okay, time to look into this further' or at the _most _extreme, 'Okay, time to test the people in the house against the DNA of Mr. Treachario's from the medical records', what he _actually _said was, "Fan_tas_tic! Now, I'll need a crime kit, an appropriate hat, and a sidekick. Time to arrest the butler!"

* * *

Fate took a sip of water, and smiled softly. "Thank you for meeting with me at such short notice. I know this must be a very difficult time for your family..."

Irina Chryslus, the governor's widow, giggled, a musical sound that made her body jiggle in ways that a casual observer might have found distracting and which Fate found mildly creepy. "Well, it isn't _that _hard. It's not like dear Ronaldo was part of the family these days anyway. Al-ways _work-king_," she said in a sing-song tone.

The woman was, less than two days after the death of her husband, apparently dressed to seduce; the dress she chose was bright red, and a cut that Fate would have called brazen in a nightclub, much less for lounging around the house. She had the body to pull it off, despite being closer to fifty than forty, which Fate did not have a particular problem with. She also had the _attitude _to pull it off, despite being a person of interest in the assassination of a government figure, which Fate found very disturbing indeed.

"Mother! For God's sake, you could at least _pretend _to be sad that your husband was just murdered!" snapped a younger woman, probably in her early 20's, though considering how well her mother hid her years, Fate hesitated to guess at Scarlet Chryslus's age. The woman had inherited much from her mother; green eyes, honey-colored hair, and a body suited for a champion swimmer, but on her it didn't look near as off-putting, simply due to the fact that girl had clearly been crying heavily. She clung to the young, black-haired man in the expensive suit who sat next to her like he was the only thing in the world keeping her sane.

Irina chuckled. "He wasn't my husband. We had barely spoken to each other in the last year, much less anything more intimate. We'd both moved on, it was only for the sake of his career and my comforts that we didn't outright divorce," she stopped, fixing her gaze on Fate, and something in her smile reminded the Enforcer of a shark. "Which is not to say, in any way, that I hated the man enough to kill him. In point of fact, I had nothing against him particularly; we had just drifted apart and both knew it. I was free to pursue my own activities on his dime, so long as I kept it discreet and didn't endanger his public image, and we were both content with this."

Fate smiled, but she let a little ice into it. "I understand, and thank you very kindly for answering the most obvious questions."

Irina smiled. "Well, a charming young lady like yourself, I can't help but be... _helpful_. Anything you want to know, I'd be more than happy to illuminate you on. A-ny-thing."

Fate felt her skin crawling, but at the very least she was able to keep it from showing. This woman was _loathsome. _Pretty and horrible, like some kind of poisonous serpent. She had been an Enforcer for a long time, though, and she knew better than to show any obvious contempt for a suspect... at least until she had enough evidence to justify slapping on the cuffs and reading them their rights.

Scarlet sighed. "I'm really sorry, ma'am. My mother and father haven't...h-hadn't, I guess... been close for a long time before... before he..." she stopped, falling into sob.

The man beside her laid a comforting hand on her shoulder as she clung to him. "I'm sorry as well, Enforcer. My fiancee was very close to her father. This has been devastating to her."

"Ah. Then you are..."

"Darius Cole. I run an import/export business that transports good both on an intercontinental and interplanetary scale. Inherited it from my mother when she passed two years ago," the man said, his tone solid and strong. "Scarlet and I are engaged to be married this summer."

Fate nodded. "And what do _you _feel about the events that took place here last night, Mr. Cole?"

He sighed. "The old man and I were not close. He never made any secret of the fact that he didn't think I was good enough for his daughter, and I never made any secret of the fact that I thought that was a load of..." he stopped, glancing at the woman on his arm. "... well, we disagreed. I admit it even got to fighting at times. But he loved Scarlet, and I love Scarlet. We at least agreed on that much. I'd never do anything to hurt her."

Fate nodded. He _seemed _sincere, but of course they all seemed sincere when they had time to rehearse the lie. And depending on how long the murder had been planned in advance, someone might have had a _lot _of time to plan a lie.

Fate smiled, and stood. "Thank you all for your time. This was really just to touch base-" _And give Teana time to analyze the crime scene and home computer networks, since I know home security marks all three of you as never leaving your rooms the night of the killing_, _but I can't fully trust home security until she tells me I can, _"-and I may have more in-depth questions for you later. For now, though, I need to keep interviewing the others who were on the estate, until I have everyone's alibi. As you know, please don't try to leave the building."

Inara smiled. "Oh, I wouldn't dream of it. Feel free to drop by any time you want, my door is always open... for you, at least."

Fate fought the urge to vomit and stepped out into the hall, to find Teana waiting for her. "Well. The family is charming, I see," her partner said, a small smile on her face.

"The daughter is sad, the fiance is consoling her, the wife is a demon in human skin but doesn't appear to have a motive. Of course, who knows if they're telling the truth," Fate muttered.

"Well, _someone _on the estate grounds is lying," Tia said. "The door into the office and a few other rooms with privacy locks require keycards for entry... and it looks like someone copied the governors. I sent Bardiche the records while you were in there."

Fate smiled genuinely for the first time in what seemed like a million, million years as her device projected the data from the file. "Fantastic! And if I'm reading this right, it looks like... yes, two suspiciously timed entries. One before the murder, one after... so he might have been looking for something? Going back to erase evidence, or maybe the governor was killed for a particular item or piece of data. Either way, this is the first real break in the case we've had. Great work."

Teana hesitated, duty and desire warring on her face, before she sighed, lowered her head, and muttered something that sounded like, "Aso a llbt inna rm a imerder."

"... What?"

"I said... I said..." Teana began, before wincing, and saying, "Ugh, I can't say it. Cross Mirage, tell her."

"**Household security KillBot accessed office at approximate time of death, Enforcer Harlaown.**_" _the device said loyally.

Fate blinked. "Well. Um. That doesn't _necessarily _mean anything. It's possible that it was doing a basic security sweep."

"And didn't notice the corpse? Or stop the murder?" Teana challenged, her voice thick with despair. "Face it, Fate. He was _right after all_. It was called a KillBot and it was a killer and that isn't how the world is supposed to work but it _did _and..."

"Tia!" Fate said, gripping the young woman's shoulders. "Calm _down_. We still don't know anything solid, okay? You need to stop panicking over every improbable naming problem that pops up in this case. Every so often, you get a weird one, all right? And that's _okay_. This is not a conspiracy against you."

Teana took a few deep breaths, fighting to keep the tears from her eyes. "Okay. Okay. I'll be fine. I'm sure the K... the K-Ki..."

"KillBot?"

Teana winced. "Yes. That thing. I'm sure that was just a... a programming glitch, and nothing else will come of it. The keycard, that's our evidence. _That _is the key, decisive piece we need."

"Well... we can't totally _discount _either option..." Fate said delicately.

"... Fate, are you _trying _to make me sad again?" Teana asked. "Because you are. You really are."

"I'm just being an investigator. We have to consider the fact that there are two keycards, yes. And we also have to consider that the KillBot might have... well... killed someone. Not because it is _named _a KillBot, but because it is a large, powerful automaton that was at the scene of the crime at the time of the murder."

"The name means something different in the local language anyway."

"... Yes, that, though I'm starting to think we should maybe get like, a dictionary for that," Fate admitted. "But for now, we need to find and examine that robot, find and examine every keycard in the house and any evidence that suggests one was destroyed..."

Fate blinked, then, cut off by the sight of something she really, really hoped was not real passing across a doorway down the hall. She blinked a few times, hoping that this would make the sight go away, hoping against hope that she was just hallucinating, but no such luck. With a resigned sigh, she finished, "... And find out why Susa and what appears to be one of the household maids are wearing funny hats and carrying what looked a lot like a person in a sack towards the front door."

"... Wait, what?" Teana asked as Fate burst past her, sprinting down the hall as fast as her uniform (stupid skirt-heels combo!) would allow.

"Susa! _Susa! _I know I'm going to regret asking this, but _why _do you have a person in a sack?" Fate asked.

Susanoo turned to her, the deerstalker hat on his hand falling a little too low around his ears to look dignified. "Oh, it's the butler. He's guilty. He tried to resist arrest, so I took him by force with my loyal sidekick, here."

"Good afternoon, mistress," the maid said amiably. She was a cheerful looking young lady, with bright red hair, green eyes, and a dusting of freckles on her nose. Oh, and she was wearing a black bowler hat, presumably for the same reason Susanoo was wearing a hat: madness. "My name is Collette DuPree, the maid in charge of maintaining the upstairs chambers and assisting in the kitchen. I was just helping the good inspector here make a citizen's arrest."

"... Really."

"It was all very thrilling," Collette said cheerfully. "But I kept my cool, as a proper maid should, and helped Chief Detective Susanoo apprehend the suspect!"

"_What?!_" Teana snarled.

"She was pretty awesome," Susanoo said cheerfully, ignoring Teana as was his way. "I _knew _when I looked at all the maids, she was the perfect one to deputize. She seemed tough, as befits my elite law-enforcing assistant, codename: Justice Punch."

"I was all a-flutter!" Collette squealed. "I confess, I always _did _want to be a crime fighter. My favorite books as a child were the _Lancia Drew _novels. And sure enough, when Mr. Ferrio tried to escape, I was able to immobilize him with my maid training, utilizing my environment!"

"She hit him with a tray!" Susanoo said proudly.

"Oh, goodie. So you not only arrested one suspect with no evidence, but you had another suspect help you. _And _committed assault," Fate said, that familiar migraine making a comeback.

"I have evidence! A photo that implies Mr. Treachario _did _have an illegitimate child after all!" Susanoo countered.

"And you have confirmed that this child was male? And gotten DNA to confirm it was Mr. Ferrio?" Teana asked.

"... … Not _as such_. But he has black hair and wears suits!" Susanoo said, sounding _slightly _less confident.

"Susa," Fate said softly. "Let him out of the sack, and please let me try to talk him out of pressing charges for police brutality."

"... But I found this hat and..."

"Susa," Fate said, her tone never raising above that which a stern but caring mother might use. "Open. The. Sack."

Susanoo sighed sadly, and said, "Justice Punch, undo the bindings."

"But Chief Detective..." Collette began.

"I _may _have overstated my rank," Susanoo said, shame filling his tone. "I... I cut corners. Abandoned the path of the straight and narrow. Stepped _outside the law._"

"What?! Why would you do such a thing?" Collette demanded.

"It's hard, kid. It's hard to see the criminals walkin' free because some bastard attorney hit a loophole and got 'em off on a technicality, or because some schmuck too stupid to get out of jury duty couldn't spot the guilt in their eyes. Couldn't _see 'em _like I could," Susanoo growled. "I got tired. I got tired of bustin' perps only for 'em to be out on the street the next week, doing the _same damn _crimes I got 'em for the first time. So I bent the rules, I made sure the ones who belonged behind bars _ended up there_. Was it wrong? Maybe. But it _felt _right, finally getting to give these scum what they deserved. And you... all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, thinkin' you know these streets? You might look down on me now, but this job makes 'em old fast. Someday... someday you'll be _just like me_."

The silence was thick for several cold, cruel minutes as the darkness of the urban jungle filled the soul of a once-good cop... at least until Teana said, "This is your first case, you moron."

"... Oh. Right. Well, I guess we can let him out of the sack, then," Susanoo said, seemingly cheered by the revelation he wasn't hopelessly corrupted by long years on the force after all.

As the helpful maid helped pull Mr. Ferrio out of the sack by his shoes, Fate put on her best fake smile. "Mr. Ferrio, sir, I _cannot _apologize enough for this. Please understand that our cadet really did have something that was almost logic leading him to this, and..."

Mr. Ferrio's eyes were mad, full of fear and rage. With a feral snarl, he grabbed at a small, red-stoned ring on his left hand and yanked it off, screaming, "I don't know how you found me out, but you'll _never _take me alive!" before throwing the small jewel to the ground, where it exploded in a blinding white light that filled the room. The three investigators and maid-turned-sidekick cried out in shock and covered their eyes, blinded.

When the light cleared, Evan Ferrio was simply gone.

The silence this time was, if possible, even thicker, finally broken by Susanoo cheerfully shouting, "_Called _it!"

* * *

**Author's Note :****As always, check my profile for additional works, both fanfiction and published. Hope you enjoy! And if those of you who have the ability would be willing to, sharing the links to my publishing on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and the like would be a tremendous help, even if you don't buy a thing. Thank you!**


	3. Part the Third

_**Fate T. Harlaown and the Case of the Murderous Murder**_

**A Tale of Intrigue, Treachery, and DOOM**

**Part the Third**

"So, do I get a promotion?" Susanoo asked, smiling cheerfully as he, Teana, Fate, and Collette the maid (AKA Justice Punch) sat around the research terminal, Collette happily providing tea and cookies. Fate had put in the request from the local authorities to run DNA samples taken from Mr. Ferrio, during his drug screening when he applied to his position as butler, and a sample kept on file from Mr. Treachario's body when it had been interred. Now it was only a question of waiting for the report to get to them.

"You don't get promotions for letting the criminal get away," Teana muttered, taking a sip of her tea in a sullen tone. The notion that the killer might actually _be _not only the butler but someone named 'Treachario' was not sitting well with her at all. Even worse, Ferrio seemed to have absolutely vanished. The local police had every exit covered, and he had not left by any of the doors or windows, nor was he anywhere in the house they could find. Even search magic produced no results. An APB had been put out for him, but for the moment all the investigators could do was wait and continue to examine the house.

"I didn't let him get away!" Susa protested. "Fate's the one who made me let him out of the bag that contained his eternal evil. Back me up on this one, Justice Punch."

"I tied the knots up quite tightly, ma'am, using my natural talent for such things as developed by years of tying open the drapes in the upstairs bedrooms, ma'am," Collette said helpfully. "I feel this skillset will be _most _useful now that I am, as they say, a sleuth."

"You are _not _a sleuth," Teana said. "Susanoo actually has no authority to deputize anyone. I thought we'd been over this."

"Well, I am certain that with my intensive knowledge of the house, I could still be of great assistance in your investigation, couldn't I?"

"You're a suspect."

"... Oh."

The door opened, and a handsome young man with skin the color of light mocha entered, pulling off a pair of sunglasses and brushing his long black hair behind his ear as he gave the assembled crew (and one maid who might have counted as an honorary member, depending on who you asked) a bright smile. "Well, well. So glum, aren't we? The famous TSAB should be trying to keep morale up in the lowly locals, I thought."

Fate sighed. "Well, things normally don't go quite this... oddly for us. The case is unique, to say the least."

The man laughed, and slid a data crystal along Fate's desk, which the enforcer caught with practiced smoothness. "Well, perhaps this will help. Though I hesitate to ask _why _you needed to run the DNA of a former governor who died a decade ago in a murder case that happened two nights past."

"Like, I said, unique," Fate said dryly, plugging the crystal into the access port on her terminal. "Thank you for the data, Mr..."

"Inspector," he corrected. "Despo-zabil Siouxport, with Taris Planetary Security, coordinating the capitol police. We spoke on the comm when you logged in to the scene, I believe?"

"Ah, yes. I _thought _your voice sounded familiar," Fate mused.

The man laughed again. "Well, I was hoping your first reaction to seeing me in the flesh would be swooning at my incredible good looks, but I suppose a celebrity such as yourself is not easily swayed, Enforcer Harlaown. And of course, her legendary first apprentice, the investigation corp's rising star, Enforcer Lanster. And... that guy who I assume must be your luggage carrier."

"What guy?" Susanoo asked, looking behind himself.

"... Okay, you've gotten on my good side," Teana admitted with a slight smile.

"You might be on mine too, depending on what we have here," Fate said, watching as the two DNA sequences scrolled slowly down the screen, the computer comparing the millions upon millions of nucleotides in less time than it took to say it. "Let's see, indication is..."

"When we find out he's guilty, I can easily blow up the house to find his hiding place," Susanoo offered. "It'll take me like, five seconds, really."

The program released a negative buzz, bright red letters popping up on the holoscreen which said 'NO MATCH FOUND'.

"_Yes_!" Teana said, pumping her fist in triumph.

"Tia," Fate chided her.

"Um... sorry. I mean... how sad," the junior enforcer said, trying very hard to keep a smirk of triumph from her face.

"He's... he's _not _related to Treachario?" Susanoo asked in disbelief. "But it added up perfectly! He has black hair, just like Treachario! He's the right age! He's... he's a butler!"

"According to this, the closest thing they have to a blood relation is that both of them are humans," Fate said with a shrug.

Susanoo's face fell even further. "So he isn't Mr. Treachario's secret son, _and _he isn't a brain-eating swamp mutant from the forbidden moon of Drenthax?"

"... What?"

"That was gonna be my second guess."

"... Sure." By this point, Fate had learned well that once you got out the uncontrollable first reflex question, it was best to just stop.

"Wait, wait, wait," Teana, who had not learned this yet, said. "Shouldn't he have known that? Isn't the whole issue that his mother had worked it out and was being pressured to keep her mouth shut? So, if he's _not _the son, then why did he resist arrest in the first place? A DNA test would have proven him _innocent_."

Susanoo scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmmm... did I remember to bring that up with him...?"

Teana blinked a few times, fury running slowly between the neurons of her brain, before she finally said, "You... you arrested him... without telling him _why?!_"

"... Is that bad?" Susanoo asked.

Teana, in reply, made a kind of angry sound that did not really translate into any kind of human language, while Fate just kinda sighed sadly, having half-expected this. The elder Enforcer, however, went on to say, "Well. That is... not _good_. But, professionalism and legal issues aside, I _will_ admit it raises an interesting series of questions."

"It does?" Susanoo and Teana asked in perfect unison, but with precisely opposite tones; his one of renewed cheer, hers one of intense dread.

"Well, while random arrests are hardly standard procedure," Fate said calmly, "The fact remains that he had a flash bomb hidden on his person, and an escape route from the manor planned out for when it became necessary to use it. As unprofessional as it sounds to say it, the man is _clearly _guilty of _something_, and just because we can't _confirm _it was this, particular murder doesn't mean he has not just jumped to the top of our list of persons of interest. We may not have a motive for him, but this is not the kind of behavior we just ignore, either. So we now have a direction to focus the bulk of our energy, which is something we lacked before."

Susa's smile outshone the sun. "So I did something good after all?"

"In... a sense," Fate allowed. "There is a time for subtlety and a time for taking a crowbar to the problem. I'm not saying it was handled perfectly, but you at least shook _something _loose, even if we aren't sure what yet."

Susanoo turned to Teana and, with the maturity and dignity of the ancient warrior he was, stuck his tongue out at her in triumph.

"Wait, wait!" Tia said. "What about the ID card problem?"

"There's an ID card problem?" Susanoo asked.

"The governor's ID card was used to enter his office after he was dead! Someone's been screwing with the security system! We _told _you all this! Have you just been ignoring everything we say that doesn't match your own personal weird theories?" Teana asked, her tone positively glacial.

Susanoo looked deep into her eyes, and with the wisdom of the ages, he instantly analyzed her mood and said "... Is the right answer 'yes?'"

"... Murder is a crime," Teana muttered under her breath, her fingers twitching. "Murder is a crime, murder is a crime, don't murder him Teana, it's a _crime _and you solve crimes, you don't commit them..."

Fate sighed, rubbing her temples once again. "Okay. Okay. Okay. I think we have a new set of priorities, and we'll once again be splitting into groups. I will aid Inspector Siouxport in combing the grounds for any sign of Mr. Ferrio, and interrogating the remains of the household staff. Ms. Colette... you will return to your maid duties, I suppose, because you are a _suspect._"

Colette sniffled sadly. "And to think, for just a little while, I got to live the dream... of course, on the other hand I _do _have to help the chef make dinner! Oh, I hope you'll all be staying, we're having his famous roast leg of Kinrath Abyss-devourer, in red wine sauce! It's just the most _delightful _thing you've ever tried!"

"I... think that would technically count as us taking bribes, Ms. Collette."

"Hmmm... are you certain? What if soup and salad were served first? I should think that would make it less of a bribe and more of a... dinner."

"It's really more the principle of the thing. But we'll... see what we can do," Fate said. She was fairly sure she wasn't supposed to, on the one hand... but on the other, she hadn't had lunch, and a decent cut of Kinrath Abyss-devourer cost an arm and a leg to get on Midchilda. Worse, for some odd reason all of her Earth friends refused to even try it, so good luck getting _them _to chip in.

she squealed, skipping off to go about her maidly duties with a jaunty tune on her lips.

"God-speed, Justice Punch. Pray the world never needs your keen eye for crime every again. You have earned this rest," Susanoo said proudly.

Teana sighed. "Okay, Fate... if you're working with the pretty boy... no offense..."

Siouxport smiled and brushed his hair back. "Oh, I would be offended if you _didn't _think I was pretty."

"And I'm assuming that I comb the house for any sign of a copied ID card, run through the data in the main computer, analyze the Ki... security robot for signs of tampering, that sort of thing?" Teana asked.

Fate took a deep breath. "Yes. You and Susa."

Tia blinked a few times, her expression suddenly very blank. "... What."

Susanoo smiled cheerfully. "Ooooh, I get to work with Ana? I don't think I've done that before! Sounds fun."

"Fate... no. You're not serious, right? You don't mean it," Teana asked, her tone getting just a tiny bit desperate.

"Oh, I'm afraid I mean it very much," Fate said flatly. "For starters, that much information gathering is really a two-person job. There's a fugitive on the loose , so nobody should be alone anyway. And frankly, you two have been acting like children, and I'm a bit tired of it. You are going to bury the hatchet and work together. _Now._"

"There's a hatchet?!" Susa asked, eyes lighting up. "Can I try it out before we bury it? I'm a fan of the weapon type."

Teana fought for a few minutes to unclench her fists of fury, before saying, "Fate. Please. _Look _at what you are giving me to work with."

Fate smiled sweetly. "He needs some work on proper procedure, but he _has_ given us our most likely suspect."

"By _accident! _He just arrested the first guy he found with hair color that seemed suspicious!" Tia protested.

"And yet, he was right. Good instincts do count, Teana," Fate said, putting a supportive hand on her should. "But only if tempered by a sound mind. That's where you come in. Frankly, I think you two would make a good team."

"... So, you've secretly been out to get me all this time, then?" Tia asked.

"Go. Investigate. _Now_."

Susanoo and Teana walked toward the house's main server, and as they did, Teana chose to make the situation known.

"Okay, listen. I don't like you, and you don't like me..." she began.

"I like you," Susanoo said with a slight pout.

"... But we have no choice but to work together. So let me tell you how this needs to happen. Security keycards include a mystic code worked into the construction to interface with main security, so I will have Cross Mirage enter the home's security computer and find the location of all keycards in the house. I will collect and examine them all, while Cross Mirage examines the computer's programming for any signs of tampering, however subtle. I will then examine the house's... ugh... KillBot for same. You," she said, turning to face her 'partner', "will sit quietly in the corner, and not speak."

"That... doesn't sound terribly heroic."

"That's because it isn't intended to help you be a hero. It's intended to keep me sane."

"Ooooooh. I didn't realize your sanity depended on me so much!" Susa said, apparently happy with this answer. "Okay, I'll find a good corner."

Tia sighed, letting a tiny bit of tension out. As they turned the corner and entered the server room, she actually felt that maybe something was finally, finally going _right _here. "Okay. Good. That's a start. Now, Cross Mirage, if you please? Run the routines I asked for on our way here... oh, and give us a list of anyone in the house who's keycard would give them access to this room. They're more likely to have been able to get into security."

"Oooh, that's clever," Susanoo said.

"You're not supposed to talk."

"Roger, sir!"

Teana sighed. "Cross Mirage. Please start."

"**List loaded to portable drive. Scanning for active keycards... found. Six active cards located." **

"Okay, give me the locations, and start scanning directory for..."

"That seems weird, doesn't it?" Susa asked.

Teana winced. "Yes, I know that you probably aren't used to it, but asking my Device to do something for me results in it _listening_. It's a strange concept to you, I know. Remember what I said about you not talking?"

Susanoo blinked a few times, then smiled. He held up his hand, flashing seven fingers. Then six. Then seven again. He then leaned back against the wall, smiling in clear satisfaction, as if he had accomplished something.

Teana sat in silence for several long seconds, weighing things in her mind, curiosity at war with her joy at the sudden silence. It was a catch-22... there was no good way to have both. In the end, the investigator in her won out. Damn her inquisitive soul.

"You can talk, _just _this once," Teana said, hating the sound of the words.

"Um, it seems like that number of cards is weird, doesn't it?" Susa asked.

Teana blinked, counting her thoughts out. _Governor, wife, daughter, two maids, butler, chef... _

Her eyes widened. "Even if we assume the visitors, the daughter's fiance and the doctor, weren't issued a keycard, that's too few. There should be _at least _seven active cards on the premises. Maybe as many as nine. So why only six?"

"Um... well, I have to assume it's harder to make one than to alter one. So they probably destroyed them to hide the evidence of the one they changed," Susanoo said. "But we have the central computer at our disposal. So we can find out who's card _isn't _active right now. And then we know whose got broken!"

Teana's mouth opened and closed a few times. "That... that was... that was... _smart._"

Susanoo pouted. "It was _your _idea. My idea didn't work, so I'm giving yours a shot. Besides, I'm betting I know who the cardmaster will be. After all, altering the security system of another's home... well... that's _treachery_. And there's only one person in this building who is _known _for _treachery!_"

"... Why do you insist on killing my respect for you?" Teana asked. "We already proved that the butler isn't the ex-governor's son."

"My new theory is that it's the cook," Susanoo said proudly.

"...Why?"

"Because we haven't talked to him yet, and I'm running out of male options," Susanoo said firmly. "A daughter seeking vengeance just doesn't have the same ring. I think it's because 'daughter' has the same number of syllables as 'vengeance' and 'seeking', so it's doesn't have the same _bite _to it. Just say it. 'Son'. That is a word with _bite_, you know. Son. _Son_. _**Son.**_"

"... So, you go out of your way to kill any tiny spark of respect you inspire in me, then?"

* * *

Fate sighed as she held the scan program in her hand, the Mid circle glowing around her palm revealing no information she didn't already know. "So. Bardiche detects no sign of any hidden doors or passages on the grounds or in any of the rooms we've explored. If they exist, they are shielded, and professionally."

"We need more advanced equipment?" Siouxport asked. "Because frankly, I'm not sure anything we have at the local precinct is going to do better than a mage's personal combat device. I've never even _seen _hardware that advanced, and I'm with the _global _police."

Fate sighed. "No, the problem isn't the tech. The problem is that this estate _clearly _has major security shielding that isn't in the blueprints. Any political manor worth the name has security, of course, but anything that could keep out Bardiche can't be legal."

"Or they just don't have a hidden tunnel beneath the house."

Fate raised an eyebrow. "Well, in that case I suppose it's just possible that none of the many, many officers on the grounds saw him. When he ran across the open, shelter-less lawn. In the bright sun. Wearing black and white."

Detective Siouxport mimed being shot in the heart, chuckling openly. "Fine, fine, your point is made. There _must _be some sort of tunnel or panic room. But, I mean... police check in with household security here weekly. Ever since the, er, Treachario incident, we have kept a _very _close watch on our politicians. For their own safety, of course."

"Please don't let Susa hear you call it 'the Treachario Incident', he'll think it's an amazing spy story."

The inspector smirked. "Well, only if you consider discovering that the governor has spent in the area of 450,000 credits on _prostitutes _during his three years in office to be gripping thriller material."

Fate's jaw dropped.

"Yes, we were shocked too. The man was _insatiable_."

Fate shook her head. "Well, he sounds a little too much like the current... er, more _recent_ governor's wife. If she were a few years younger, I'd think Irina Chryslus was the Treachario-spawn Susa is so keen on catching..."

"Well, my dear, that is _simply _insulting," a painfully familiar voice purred from down the hall. "I would _never _pay for something I can very, very easily get for free."

"Oh, what fresh torment is this," Fate muttered. She put on her best fake smile before turning around, saying, "Ms. Chryslus! Please leave the area, an ongoing investigation is underway."

The woman smiled like a shark, and Fate's skin crawled. Beautiful, but scary. "Well, I'm quite sure that nobody died in _this _room, and I'm afraid it _is _my house. When such, mmmm, lovely young things are roaming the halls, I would be a poor hostess indeed if I did not... _attend _to them."

Fate tried not to wince, and she got the impression that her partner-of-the-moment was suppressing a similar urge. "Nonetheless ma'am, a suspect _is _on the loose. You were supposed to stay in your quarters under guard unless called for."

"Speaking of which," inspector Siouxport said with a raised eyebrow, "Where _is _your guard?"

Irina smiled widely. "Why, I was so terribly scared, and asked the poor dear to comfort me. And he did. Very well. He was positively _exhausted _after, I'm afraid. He may be ill. Not a lot of stamina."

Sioxport nodded sagely. "What a shame. First he falls mysteriously ill. Then he gets suspended without pay for a month. His life is just a cascade of problems."

Irina pouted. "Oh no. Tell me you aren't going to be utterly humorless like the lovely Ms. Harlaown? She has the most amazing legs and the most boring personality. And yet, I persevere, even offering her my aid in return for a moment of her time."

"Aid?" Fate asked, suspicious. "Is there something you haven't told me, Ms. Chryslus?"

"Well, only because it wasn't _important _until now," she said with a pout. "But once dear Evan ran away, I just _knew _that I had to intervene."

"In hopes that he will be found guilty for the murder of your husband and get the police out of your home?" Inspector Siouxport asked.

Irina grinned almost girlishly, the first almost pleasant expression Fate had seen on her. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Merely doing my civic duty, officer."

Fate rolled her eyes. "Of course you are. Now, what is it that you think that we so much need to know?"

"Well. Here's the thing. You know of course, that darling Evan has gone off the grid. I couldn't help but hear you talking all about it," the woman said, twirling her hair around her finger. "And I thought to myself, well, perhaps he found his way down into the tunnels!"

"Tunnels?"

"Well, I'm sure you don't know much about it, but I'm sure Mr. Siouxport remembers that nasty little war this planet had a century or so ago? It was before we met the TSAB, of course, but it was in _all _the history books," Irina said. "So much tedium. I fear a large number of promising young folks died, though it was before my time so I can't specify. But this city was the capitol even then, and there are many, _many _hidden bunkers, shelters, even entire networks of buried tunnels beneath the houses, all fortified to withstand anything the locals could dream up."

Fate turned to her pseudo-partner, her eyes widening. "Is this true? Fortified military bunkers?"

The young man's eyes lit up. "Yes. _Yes_. I didn't even consider that, but many of those old tunnels are shielded against everything from magical attack to nuclear fallout. I don't think any active sensors could get down there, even now."

Irina smiled. "Oh my. I seem to have helped."

Fate put on the first genuine smile she'd given the woman. Well, more of a grin. Well... more of a neutral kind of quirk to one corner of her mouth.

Fate put on the first genuine neutral mouth-quirk that she had given the woman, and said, "Ms. Chryslus, would Mr. Ferrio have known the access point to these tunnels in the house?"

Irina purred, "Why, I imagine most of the household staff wouldn't know about it, but dear Joseph has been with us for nearly a decade now. I'm _quite _sure he knows about the old entrance in the sub-basement. I can show you, if you like. It's rather hard to spot, but I've been down there _so _many times. It's so... dark. And private."

Fate's fake smile returned in full force. "Well, we'll be sure to bring a light source, then. Thank you for the warning, Ms. Chryslus."

"No fun at _all_."

Despite her claims of the situation being super not-fun, the former Mrs. Chryslus led them through the halls, to the wine cellar in the basement. With practiced ease, she walked to a shelf on the north wall and picked a seemingly random wine bottle, twisting it counterclockwise twice. On the other side of the room, a tiny, almost invisible crack opened in the wall... the outline of a hidden door.

Fate's eyes lit up as she moved toward the wall, pushing in on it lightly. She was filled with glee as the hidden door opened, looking at Siouxport as he took up position next to her, his sidearm at the ready. Sudden hope filled her that the case had finally, _finally _opened up...

And then a cloud of pale white gas flooded the room, and the world went suddenly blurry, blackness beginning to creep around the edges of her vision with only a single lungful of it. She went for Bardiche, but her device slipped from numb fingers, and she saw the inspector fall to his knees, trying to cover his mouth even as his weapon fell to the floor with a clatter she couldn't hear.

The last thing she saw, as her vision faded completely, was Irina Chryslus standing over her, a small rebreather clamped over her mouth. It did nothing to hide the smirk of triumph in her eyes.

* * *

Teana sighed, looking down at the cards.

"You're sure these are _all _the active ID cards in the house, Cross Mirage?" she asked, her eyes narrowed in annoyance, as if the tiny pieces of plastic had done something to her, personally.

"**Yes, ma'am**."

"That. Makes. No. _Sense," _she snarled. "There are six of them. One for the butler. One for the wife. One for the daughter. One each for the maids, and one for the cook."

"That _does _seem suspicious," Susanoo muttered. "Why would the _cook _need security clearance for anything? All he does is cook. You don't need security clearance to make stew. You just need meat and some vegetables, and maybe milk."

"For the love of... this is evidence _you _brought to light, stop forgetting why it matters!" Tia snapped. "Where is the _governor's card?! _I was expecting there to be multiple copies of it, not _no _copies of it! Where did it go?!"

"Stolen?"

"It would still be registering on the household computer. These cards have tracking chips in them, and the range is throughout the city. Besides, security shows _none _of the suspects leaving the grounds until Ferrio vanished."

"Destroyed?"

"We found no signs of that in any of the rooms, and there's no incinerators on the premises..."

"Card gnomes took it?"

"We haven't found any hints of... … … wait, what?"

"Card gnomes," Susanoo said helpfully. "Little gnomes. They like to steal cards, as the name implies."

"... I'm going to shoot you in a minute."

"Try not to hit the eyes, and that should be okay. I'm rather durable," Susa said agreeably.

Teana sighed, rubbing her temples in a totally futile gesture. The headache was external. "Look. If you really want to help, try to think of some way the cards could have been hidden on the grounds without being destroyed."

Susanoo opened his mouth.

Teana clarified, "And if you say 'card gnomes' I will hurt you more than you can imagine."

Susanoo closed his mouth.

Teana sighed. "Thought so. Okay, let's look at this logically. There have to be a few of these cards somewhere on the estate. The computer can't find them. How could this be? Options. One: They were somehow destroyed so thoroughly the techno/magical imprint that lets the system track them was totally destroyed. This would basically require the card be vaporized completely, so it's not likely. Two..."

Susanoo raised his hand.

"_Two," _Teana said more loudly, trying to continue her efforts before he started accusing Baron DeVil or Professor Doomstalker or something. "The cards have been placed in some kind of heavily shielded container or chamber. Something so well-sealed that the tracer doesn't go through it."

Susanoo kept raising his hand, using his other hand to hold it up while he made the "Oh! Oh! Oh!" sound heard from children across the known galaxy when they _super knew _the answer to a question.

"Option one would require highly advanced weaponry or magic in the A-level range. We've seen no particular signs of the latter, and it would be hard to hide ordinance on the level of the former," Teana continued. "So we assume that there's a shielded compartment somewhere."

"Oh! OOOOOOH!" Susanoo said, jumping up and down and waving his hand.

_Fate? _Teana thought, sending her thoughts out to her partner. _Any luck on your end? We have some thoughts on this one. And by that I mean, _I _have some thoughts and he has some stupid. _

Silence.

She blinked. Telepathy was one of the more difficult magics to block, particularly between mages of Teana and Fate's caliber. Further, the two women had worked together closely for years, and Teana knew Fate's frequency like the back of her hand. The psychic link should have been immediate and strong.

_Fate? _She sent again, a slight touch of desperation in her thoughts. _Fate, respond. Enforcer Harlaown, __**respond**_**. **

Silence.

"Cross Mirage!" Teana snapped. "Run scan protocol. Any sign of Enforcer Harlaown or Bardiche."

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" Susanoo said, holding both hands up and waving them.

"_Stop that!_" Teana snarled, no longer at all happy. If Fate wasn't responding, it was because she _couldn't _respond. "Cross Mirage, please..."

"**Scan complete. Target not in scanning range.**"

Cross Mirage had an effective scrying range of ten kilometers unaided. _Dammit_.

Susanoo put his hand down, his eyes widening. "Um. Did your magic card just say that Tess is _gone?_"

"This is bad. This is _really _bad," Teana muttered. "She could be out of range, but there's no way she wouldn't tell me she was going. So where could she be?"

Susanoo's eyes lit up, and he raised his hand. "OH! OOOOOOOOOH! OH OH OH!"

Teana turned to face him, despair growing on her face. "Oh, God. We're _alone_, aren't we. You and me. Just the two of us. I have to investigate this with _you._"

Susanoo's eyes lit up even more lightly. "I didn't even think about that! So, do you have a codename you want to use as my sidekick? I'm leaning toward 'Justice Gun', but really I think a veteran officer like you should get to choose your own. But it won't be as good as Justice Gun. Just so you know."

Teana pondered this for a few painfully long seconds. She then walked over to the nearest wall, drew her head back softly, and hit it against the flat surface _just _hard enough to hurt.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

It was comforting, in a way.


	4. Part the Fourth

_**Fate T. Harlaown and the Case of the Murderous Murder**_

**A Tale of Intrigue, Treachery, and DOOM**

**Part the Fourth**

"Okay. Let's not panic. Sure two of our suspects have vanished and Fate is gone and the local police are panicking over the loss of the global investigator and this might just be the biggest fiasco of my professional career," Teana said flatly. "But on the plus side... um... um... ummmmmm..."

"You still have me!" Susanoo said proudly.

"Oh _God_ I'm _doomed," _Tia sobbed, clutching her head in her hands. "We have no evidence, we have no suspects, and no we have no superior officer! For all we know Fate is... is lying dead in a ditch somewhere, and Bardiche isn't responding to signals because someone threw it in the garbage compactor. I'm a _failure!_"

Susanoo blinked a few times before awkwardly patting Teana on the shoulder. "Um... cheer up? It's not really that bad..."

She spun on him, her eyes full of venom even as they sparkled with tears. "_You. _You're telling _me _to cheer up? You... you bludgeon your way into _my _career through sheer luck, you steal my mentor, you take what could have been a massive feather in my cap and turn it into the biggest black mark my file has ever had, and you tell me to _cheer up_?! How am I supposed to be cheerful?!"

"Um... I do it by smiling, mostly..."

"Of course you can smile! You're a moron with nothing to lose!" Teana shrieked. "It doesn't matter to you if you're laughed out of the Enforcer service, you joined on a whim! This is my _life, _you idiot! My dream! I have _everything _to lose here! So tell me, _why should I smile?!_"

"Well, um... because I thought of a place the ID cards might be hidden?" Susanoo asked.

"You _stupid _son of a... wait, what?" Tia squawked, "Why didn't you say something?!"

"Well, you told me not to talk," Susanoo said. "And then you seemed like you wanted to cry for a little, so I thought it might be rude. But then you..."

"_I know what happened,_" Tia sighed. "Okay. Okay. You... look. I don't like you, and you don't like me..."

"Why do you keep _saying _that? I like you just fine."

"But we're all we've got right now. So I... am _willing _to listen to your theories as long as they aren't completely idiotic."

Susanoo nodded and, with a huge smile, said, "The KillBot did it!"

"... … … … What did I just _say?!" _Teana shrieked.

* * *

Fate groaned, blinking her eyes groggily. Her vision was blurry to the point she could barely see, and her head was pounding as though someone had hammered a nail through it, but at least it was still attached. She sighed in annoyance with herself.

_Rookie mistake. I should have gotten a small army of backup. Gotten too used to being a weapon of mass destruction in blonde form, maybe. _She thought. _And now it's led to me being... _

She blinked the final bit of blurriness out of her eyes and observed her situation.

"Oh _come on_," she groaned.

She was hanging from the wall, shackled to her hands and knees, the familiar weight of an AMF (and _where _did they get AMF tech from?! The stuff was the Holy Trinity of Illegal, Expensive, and Hard to Make that ensured most criminal organizations simply _couldn't _get it) pressing down on her, and Bardiche on a table across the room, far out of reach. That much was normal. That much, she had half-expected.

She was also wearing nothing but a black leather bikini.

"Mrs. Chryslus," Fate said in a loud, firm tone. "I pray that you have something to do with your husband's murder, for your sake. Because whatever the legal system of your planet does to murderers, it will be _merciful _compared to what _I _do to you if your only reason for any of this was to dress me up like a hooker."

The woman's laugh filled the room as she sauntered in, a sway in her hips and an extremely illegal plasma blaster in her hand. "Why, officer Harlaown, wouldn't that count as police brutality? Assuming you get out of here to be an officer again. Which I fear just. Won't. Be. Happening!"

"Irina, please don't taunt the guests. It's tacky," said a mocking male voice, following her into the room.

Fate smirked. "Mr. Ferrio. Always the loyal butler, I see. Even when mistress is out to kill master? I assume she offered you the better pay upgrade? She can afford it now that she's inheriting most of the estate. Or perhaps what you were really after was the... _perks _of working for the newly lonely widow."

"'Master'. Ms. Harlaown, if you knew that man as I did, you would understand that murdering him was the ideal solution to what I can only call a truly enduring _evil,_" Ferrio said. "Irina and I were not having anything so paltry as an affair, and she certainly did not give me her modified keycard out of some desire to inherit her husband's money. We were working together to curb a corruption that has been at the heart of this planet since the end of the great war, all those years ago. She, unlike her husband, is a _true _patriot and will be a hero of Taris once the truth is out."

Fate raised an eyebrow. "So you _were _one of the people who accessed the governor's office the night of the murder. You used her master keycard, modified to mimic her husband's, and then used your own in the morning to throw us off the trail. I bet you hid it down here in the shielded chamber as soon as you were done, until Susa... erm... found you out," she said, carefully ignoring the fact that Susanoo had arrested the man by accident.

"As I said, Ms. Chryslus was only too happy to help once she learned what her husband was _really _doing with his power. She has a truly good heart."

"And the black leather bikini?"

"... Irina has a good heart, not a terribly good libido," Ferrio muttered, blushing furiously.

"It looks _good _on her," Irina insisted.

"The question really isn't appearance, Irina, so much as the propriety of the situation," Ferrio said with a sigh.

"Ugh... my head..." Detective Siouxport said from his position on the wall next to Fate, where she had been unable to see due to the restraints forcing her head forward. "I feel like I was kicked in the face by a KillBot... and why am I wearing a black leather banana hammock?"

"I liked your tan," Irina said helpfully.

"Honestly, Irina, you are ruining my case here," Ferrio said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll let you finish," she chirped.

"Thank you. Tell me, Mr. Siouxport... I expect the noble and strong agent of the TSAB wouldn't know, but I suspect you have heard of Black Wolf?"

Fate could practically feel the man tense up. "You're one of _them? _You can't be serious, they never had a cell in this city, or..."

"Not a cell. Just a lone agent, perfectly placed," Ferrio said, smirking wickedly.

Fate blinked. "Siouxport, what is he...?"

"Black Wolf are an activist organization that has been active in some of the outlying cities for the last few years, protesting industrialization, government regulation... basically anything that involves some people having more power than others. Keep talking about 'returning to our roots' as a people. They've been behind a few attacks, but they've never been active in the capitol," Siouxport said. "And they've never _killed _anyone. It's all... industrial sabotage. Sit-ins. Tying themselves to trees. They're _activists, _not terrorists."

"It wasn't something we _wanted _to do," Ferrio said, his smile fading somewhat. "Not something... _I _wanted to do. But I had no choice. When I found out what that madman was doing, I had no choice but to stop him."

Fate narrowed her eyes. "Then you..."

"Yes. I entered the office that night, using Irina's card. I approached the governor at his desk. And I killed him," Ferrio said flatly. "And he _deserved _it. Governer Chryslus was a traitor to his office, his people, and his world. And I can _prove _it." He reached into his pocket and withdrew a small projector, holograms of several files appearing in the air above his outstretched hand.

Fate looked in on them, her eyes narrowing as she struggled to focus on the text, then widening as she succeeded. "Is this genuine?!"

"That's the governor's mark. I've seen it enough times to know it by sight, and the encryption on it is _very _hard to fake," Siouxport said quietly.

"Ten-ton industrial magnets for satellite mounted railguns... injector missiles for virus bombs... weapons-grade plutonium..." Fate muttered. "These are components for weapons of mass destruction. Illegal beyond all reason for _any _member world of the TSAB, and considered reason for Sealing Orders even on unaffiliated worlds."

"And the people of Taris thought we had problems when our governor was 'just' an embezzling philanderer," Ferrio said with a combination of sadness and humor. "I don't know what Chryslus was planning to do with this weaponry, and really it doesn't matter. Once I found the proof he was stockpiling it, he had to be stopped, no matter the cost. So I went into his office just before midnight, under the guise of bringing him a snack and using Irina's keycard, modified to match the governor's, so no trail would be left. He was asleep at his desk... he often was. A workaholic, you might recall? And I left a small, personal-sized poison gas emitter beneath his desk, where he wouldn't find it. Unobtrophin. Odorless, tasteless, colorless. Lethal after an hour of exposure, symptoms mimic a heart attack. The perfect weapon for an assassination, don't you agree? Then all that was left to do was reprogram Irina's card, then enter in the morning to reclaim my weapon and hide it in the shielded tunnels.

"The perfect plan," Irina snapped. "Except somehow, it was found out by that damnable chief investigator! Somehow his keen investigative mind was able to piece together the details of the crime, and he arrested Evan on the spot."

Fate tried really hard not to laugh. It would have ruined the moment, and they might have taken it personally. With the guns and all, it was best not to piss them off too much.

"It was a problem," Ferrio said sadly. "Suddenly I'm the most wanted man on the planet. I am willing to be a martyr for the cause, but if possible I'd like to avoid it. So I had no choice but to bring you here... explain my actions. Inspector, I know you have to do your job, bringing a murderer to justice. But I'm no murderer. I'm a hero. A _patriot_."

Fate sighed. "Well, you're partially partially right. You're not a murderer, in the sense that no poison of any sort was found in the governor's system, and he died of blunt force trauma, not a heart attack or anything that mimicked one."

Ferrio's jaw dropped. "But I planted it myself! How could it not have..."

"Because you're a fool," a cold voice said, "And this death was never yours to claim."

Ferrio spun, leveling his weapon at the door, only to see a handful of small metal spheres roll into the room and explode, flooding it with white gas. He and Irina began to cough violently, falling to their knees. Fate joined them, feeling blackness beginning to creep around her vision as the anesthetic gas flooded her system.

She had just enough time to think, _Ugh, again? _before her consciousness faded.

* * *

"Okay," Teana said, staring down at her unwanted partner as he sat at her feet like a student seeking approval from a stern teacher. The gun she had pointed at his face may have contributed to this. "You have three chances to convince me that the KillBot... God it hurts a little to just say that name... was our guilty party. Go."

"Well, first, it's name is 'KillBot', so..." Susanoo said.

"Strike One," Teana said, loading a cartridge into Cross Mirage.

"Second, it's made by Dr. von Murder, who we know is obviously suspicious due to his clearly evil demeanor and..."

"Strike Two." An orange glow began to emerge at the barrel of the gun.

Susanoo stopped for a moment, wracking his brain, the sheer _effort _of the thinking he was doing very nearly making audible clunking sounds as mental processes clicked into place. "Um... we know it was at the crime scene from your studies, and all KillBots have built in shielding to keep them from being hacked remotely. So if programmed correctly it couldhave used a keycard to get in the first time, killed the governor, then actually hid the keycard _inside itself _where it wouldn't be detected, and come back later in the night under the guise of a routine security sweep to destroy evidence."

Teana rolled her eyes and began to say, "Strike Th-"

She stopped.

She blinked.

"I... that... was... how... did... that... I... you... _what?_" she shrieked.

"... Did I get it on the third one? I was saving the best for last to add to the dramatic impact," Susanoo said.

"I... that... how did you... _how did you_...?"

"I read the schematics of the household security while you were working. You told me not to talk, so I got bored," Susa said proudly. "And it had full design specs for the KillBot, among other things. So I looked, and it struck out at me since you seemed so angry about key cards being un-findable. I thought it might cheer you up to hear!"

"Then why didn't you _say this sooner?!" _

"Um, you told me not to."

"... _Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarh!_"

Susanoo smiled. "See? We're working together great already, best buddy!"

"Oh just... come with me. We're gonna go crack open that stupid robot," Teana muttered. Snapping up Cross Mirage, she said, "Whoever's in charge of the local police! We need the maids and the chef, now. Take them to the security station, we'll interrogate them there."

"_Excuse me?" _An annoyed female voice came over the comm. "_We've lost our chief investigator, and you think that you can bark out orders like-" _

"_**DO IT,**_" Teana snarled.

"... _Yes'm_."

Susanoo smiled. "You know, Ana, we should spend more time together. You remind me of some of my old masters. But in a good way, not a sociopathic dictator way."

"Can you please go back to not talking?"

* * *

The KillBot was well-named. The thing looked like nothing so much as a gigantic mantis made of golden metal; it was the size of Fate's car, but with quad-barreled energy weapons of some kind where the 'claws' would normally be, and some kind of grenade launcher mounted between the optical sensors on the head. Four legs, each ending in a razor tip, rounded out the ensemble. It was immaculately clean and, as the computer had claimed, gold-plated, with the exception of some kind of scratch below the neck joint; most likely a mechanic had slipped with a wrench or something similar.

Teana blinked. "Why does this thing looks like something that you'd see in the maniacal army of a mad scientist?"

Susanoo coughed, a sound which sounded vaguely like, "Von Murder!"

"Shut up and help me get the access plate off," she muttered, slipping her fingers around the maintenance port and tugging. It was stuck pretty firmly; she pulled for nearly thirty seconds and it didn't so much as wiggle. "Stupid th-"

Susa reached out with one hand and tugged sharply, pulling the plate open with enough force to bend the metal.

"... Okay, you have your uses," Teana admitted. "Cross Mirage, scan inside while I search manually." She gazed into the open workings of the robot, pushing aside wires and studying as best she could. It wasn't terribly dissimilar from a Gadget Drone, letting her spot the power source and CPU pretty quickly, and...

She blinked. "There's nothing in here. There's enough _space _for a card, but nothing inside."

"Oh _come on!_" Susanoo screamed. "I was _so sure! _I am _so sick _of this stupid case and its stupid plot twists and nothing making any _stupid sense!_"

"Actually, don't feel bad," Teana muttered, looking deeper. "You may not be entirely wrong. This is nothing that should be on a defense robot... looks like some kind of filter, or air purifier...? Cross Mirage, explain if you could."

"**Structural Analysis complete; structure is an industrial-strength air purifier with a maximum radius of three-hundred meters. Traces of plasma residue, sulfur dioxide, unobtrophin, and plutonium dust." **

Tea's jaw dropped. "That... the _Hell _is going on?"

"Is that bad?" Susanoo asked.

"Plasma residue and sulfur dioxide indicate the presence of both mass weaponry _and _non-magical energy weaponry. Unobtrophin is poison, an airborne gas popular with assassins because it's hard to produce and mimics a heart attack, so lazy authorities never think to check for it. And plutonium, well..." Teana sighed. "Cross Mirage. Open the KillBot's files, see what it did the night of the murder. This doesn't add up."

"**0000 Hours, enter governor's office under [ORDER ENCRYPTED]. 0001 Hours to 0345 hours: stand point in Evidence-Destruction mode. 0400 hours: return to charging pod." **

The room was silent for a long time.

"_Evidence destruction mode?!" _Teana shrieked. "It has an _evidence destruction mode?! _And yet _nobody on this moron planet _finds these things suspicious enough to _not buy them?!_"

"Um... apparently not," Susanoo said, taking a few steps back from her, thus proving once and for all that he really wasn't a _complete _moron.

"Oh, this is glorious. This is just _brilliant. _So now in addition to murder, we have poison, illegal weaponry, and apparently something that runs on nuclear power, in a _tiny office. _All of them cleaned out, I might add, by a robot that actually has a _mode _for _illegal destruction of evidence_. Dear _Lord_, KillBots actually _are _just as evil as the name suggests!"

Then she realized what she had just said, and winced.

"So," Susanoo said, his eyes lighting up. "What you're saying is that Dr. Von Murder..."

"Don't say it."

"... and his company, MurderCorp..."

"Don't. _Say _it."

"... are actually at the heart of a deadly conspiracy, and I was _right all along!_" Susanoo crowed.

Teana sighed, trying not to grind her teeth; it would just make the headache worse. "Yes. Yes, once again, you have managed to luck onto evil through sheer rampaging force of stupid. Stop being proud of that," she snapped, taking out her comm. "Officer! Add Dr. Von Murder to the list of people we need dragged in for questioning. Now."

"_Uuuuum... do you promise not to be angry at me, Ms. Lanster?" _the poor officer on the other end of the line, said.

"... … That depends on what you have to say."

"_Well. We sent two officers to the kitchens to locate the chef, Marcus DuClar, and the remaining maid, Louise Tobllik. And... um... Mr. DuClar is... errrrrrm... how to put this... kind of... dead." _

"What."

"_We found him shoved into the freezer behind the kitchens. His neck was broken. A coroner is on the way, but he keyed in with his card less than thirty minutes ago, so this was recent."_

"_DAMMIT! _Okay, get _everyone _together. Every suspect, _especially _the maids. They were part of the kitchen staff, at least one of them should have been there too. Seal off the area, I'll be down as soon as I can."

"_Errrrrrrrrm... well, there's the other problem..." _the officer said softly. _"Um, see, we already sent officers to Dr. Von Murder's quarters, the staff quarters, and the family wing. And um... well..."_

"_**SPIT IT OUT." **_

"_The only person we found was one of the maids! She keeps asking to talk to 'Chief Inspector Susanoo'! I don't even know what that means, please don't kill me!" _

Susanoo blinked. "Justice Punch?"

"_**Do not call her that**__,_" Teana snarled. "Officer are you seriously telling me that _everyone _has vanished from the house except the two of us and _one crazy maid?!_"

"... … _Will you shoot me if I say 'yes'?"_

With the dignity and grace of a veteran enforcer, Teana threw her comm against the wall so hard it shattered.

"You seem tense," Susanoo said.

"_Ya think?!" _Teana shrieked. "Fate is gone! _Everyone _is gone! There's been another murder! And now I need to find, and I can't believe I'm saying this, _Dr. Von Murder _to find out why his _KillBots _have been using their _Evidence Destruction Mode _on my _crime scene! _I! Am! Beyond! _Tense! _This is psychotic! This is lunacy! This isn't madness, this is beyond madness! This isn't how cases are supposed to _go! _There aren't mysterious robots and vanishing suspects and people named von Murder! It's! Just! _**Wrong**_!"

Susanoo pondered this for a few seconds. "Ummmmm... wasn't your first big case fighting a mad scientist named 'Jail' and his army of killer cyborgs before they could clone a dead king to take over a magical battleship?"

There were a few more moments of silence, as Teana pondered this response.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!" she replied, eloquently, leaping forward, her hands clamping around Susanoo's neck as she tackled him.

* * *

Fate opened her eyes, blinking groggily. "So... could we cut back on the gas, please...?"

"My apologies, Investigator. I needed to lock down the terrorist and the old whore said the same cold, cruel male voice she had heard before losing consciousness. "After all, the fool wanted to take credit for _my _revenge, and the old woman, well... the fiance _really _can't stand her."

Fate narrowed her eyes. "Darius Cole?"

The young merchant smirked up at her, his arm around the shoulders of Scarlet Chryslus, the two of them wearing matching looks of malicious amusement. They had, on the other hand, taken the time to put her pants back on her, so she couldn't think them _too _evil.

"Ugh..." Irina muttered, opening her eyes from the chairs she and Ferrio had been tied to. "... Oh, you little _brat_. I should have known you were involved with all this somehow. Knew I should have gotten a puppy instead of a child."

"Hello to you too, _mother," _Scarlet said, her tone dripping sweet venom. "Why so angry? I'd have thought you were used to being tied up in a room full of people you barely know."

Fate sighed. "Okay. Before we start the family catfight, could you explain what you're all _talking _about? Mr. Ferrio was just taking credit for the killing. I'm going to assume you're here for the same reason? Most killers don't, but since we seem to be trapped in a bad movie, I'm just assuming at this point."

"A bad movie? That's a bit dismissive of my life's work," Darius said. "Scarlet here just hates her parents deeply. But me... well, with me, it was a bit different. Irina might well be a spoiled, selfish old crone who went along with a plan to kill her evil husband for no reason but a cute butler asking her to, but me... Governor Chryslus destroyed my _life_. My _mother's _life. And most especially... my _father's _life."

"Oh no," Fate muttered.

"Because I am...!"

"Son of Joseph Treachario?" Fate asked mildly.

"The one and only son of... what?" Darius asked.

"Lucky guess," Fate said.

"I... well. I had a speech, planned..."

"Skip it. We worked out the gist. Chryslus destroyed your father's career, your mother was thrown out on the street, yadda yadda. Tell me how you think you killed the governor."

"I... well, look, you're being rather alarmingly blasé about all this. This is my lifelong quest for revenge, we're talking about here."

"I'm strapped to a wall. I've been drugged twice in the last two hours. I'm having a bad day, Mr. Cole." Fate rolled her eyes. "All signs point to your father having been a completely horrible human being who really didn't care about you or your mother in the first place. So unless you're suggesting that he was secretly a wonderful father who protected you with a loving heart, then you really had no reason to seek any sort of revenge. Yet here you are. Seeking it. So I'm sorry, but it's just really hard to find you interesting."

Darius just kind of sat in silence for awhile. "Um... well, I... I'm sorry... I mean... I thought it was a pretty good motivation..."

Scarlet patted him on the shoulder supportively. "It's okay, honey. Just because your motive wasn't the best, doesn't mean your plan wasn't great!"

"Y... you didn't like my motive either...?"

"Awwww, sweetie. We're gonna get married next month, and that means that I'm here for you, even if your motive isn't very good," Scarlet said warmly. "And remember, my motive was just hating my parents and wanting to inherit their money! I think your motive was just as good as mine! Maybe even better!"

Sniffling lightly, Darius put on a small smile. "Th-thanks, honey. You really are the best. I never would have had the courage to take my final vengeance without you." The couple leaned, kissing softly before sliding into a loving hug.

"Awwwwwwwwwww," Siouxport said. "You don't see cute couples like that anymore, y'know?"

"Because they're all in prison?" Fate asked. "We're on a clock here, people. You could take a few minutes to explain why you came down here to layer a second kidnapping on top of my first one."

"Oh. Um, well. Last night Scarlet went into her dad's office with him to talk about some things and stole his cardkey before she left, see? So I used that to sneak in around 2AM in the night, and... and stabbed him. With a knife? Then I stuck the knife and the card down here! Because it's... well, Scarlet said it was shielded. We came down to finish destroying them, but we found everyone down here... luckily, she had some knockout gas. I guess she found it in her mother's room," Darius said. "I... well, I thought it was a pretty good plan."

Silence.

"That's _it_?" Irina asked.

"Darius, the governor wasn't _stabbed_. Moron," Ferrio said. "And honestly, after I went after the man with a miniaturized poison aerosol for trafficking in illegal weapons in what I can only assume was his quest to become a dictator, you sneaking in with a kitchen knife is just a little bit lame."

"W-what?! But... but I stabbed something! I know I did! I mean, sure it was dark in there, but I would hardly fail to notice when my knife hit something! Even if I did, um, well, run out rather fast..."

"Be strong, honey. They're just trying to shake you," Scarlet said. "I _know _you're the one who killed daddy, with how strong and evil you were. You do so good when you're confident!"

"Actually, Darius, he's telling the truth," Siouxport said. "The governor didn't get stabbed. And he died a few hours before you got there, if you're telling the truth about breaking in at 2AM."

Darius sat on the floor, wrapping his arms around his legs in a sulk. "So I'm not even a murderer?! I didn't get any revenge at all?! Well that's just_ great. _Here I was, a self-made man, trying to restore the honor of the Treachario name..."

"It didn't have honor to restore," Irina said helpfully.

"Shut _up_, Mother!" Scarlet snapped. "Honey, it's _okay_. I mean, he's dead, right? So as long as _someone _did it, does it really matter who?"

"Not unless," a new voice said jovially, "That someone needs to remove any and all witnesses. And you _all _count, I'm afraid..."

Fate sighed. "I'm starting to think Teana was right about this case."

* * *

**Author's Note: I should probably stop writing while I have sugar in my blood. **

**As always, please check my profile for additional works, both published and fanfic. Hope you enjoy! **


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